THIS is the American Idol finale night…

I live blogged the “Lost” finale last season. I thought about blogging the “American Idol” finale last season, but failed. (My husband told me who won when he came to bed just after 10 p.m. I was the oldest 33-year-old ever, not able to stay up until 10 p.m. I don’t think I kept the “live blogging” up for more than a few minutes and didn’t post it.)

But, I’ve only seen a few of the results shows this season (making me STILL the oldest 33-year-old ever and now the oldest 34-year-old ever, as I still can’t stay up ’til 10 p.m. ) Needless to say, I’d like to see the end of this one.

I’m not sure I’ll make it, but here goes. I’ll read through this once before I hit “publish,” but fair warning there may be some typos. (And I hate typos.)

8:01 p.m. “…and THIS is ‘American Idol’”!

8:02 p.m. Lots of celebrities in the audience, but I’m not recognizing any of them. (I think this is actually a good thing.) What a HUGE crowd. A total of 624 million votes this season. I voted exactly twice, both last night. I voted for Kris and, and Ed voted for the other one. Clearly, we think the show should end in a tie. :) (Really, I like them both, quite a lot.)

8:03 p.m. They’re doing gentle mocks of the judges.

Randy is shown using the term “for me, for you,” etc., etc., etc. over and over and over again. TOO FUNNY!

8:04 p.m. Kara is fond of the term “sweetie.”

8:04 p.m. Paula has a huge vocabulary. Cue the video of her her using, really big words. And she uses them correctly most of the time, thankyouverymuch.

8:05 p.m. Simon hears everything. Then they proceed to show a video of him saying “What did you say?” Ha! :)

8:05 p.m. Oh look: Carrie Underwood. Someone I recognize! Yes, she was just on the show last night, but still.

8:06 p.m. It’s Adam and Kris. Hooray for Adam and Kris! :)

8:07 p.m. Such a CUTE kid at Kris’s hometown of Conway, Arkansas. She’s a bit tongue tied. We’ll have to assume she’s really a big Kris fan.

8:07 p.m. It’s Carly Smithson in Adam’s hometown of San Diego. I enjoy Carly Smithson. :)

8:08 p.m. The Top 13 doing a group number.

8:10 p.m. It’s Jasmine, one of the first two to be eliminated. I remember both Jasmine and Jorge. The fact that I can remember the first two eliminated is a good indication, I think, of how good this year’s Top 13 was. (Of course, it took me DAYS to recall Alexis Grace’s name, but that’s beside the point. Ahem.)

8:15 p.m. After the commercial, it’s David Cook. I LOVE me some David Cook. SWOON!

8:18 p.m. A nice hug between Ryan Seacrest and David. David’s brother died recently of brain cancer. All the proceeds from the iTunes downloads of this performance will go to ABC Squared, an organization that helps to find a cure for brain cancer. David Cook doesn’t think “America can get this wrong,” in terms of deciding who the American Idol will be.

8:19 p.m. It’s the Golden Idol Awards. I always enjoy this. :)

The first trophy goes to “Outstanding Male.” We’re being “treated” to some of the… um… more interesting auditions of the season. Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle is one of the contestants. And the winner is Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle. He’s there to accept his award. HOORAY for Nick/Norman. :) And now he’s performing. He completely cracks me up.

8:25 p.m. Lil Rounds and Queen Latifa are singing. Lil can SING, but I never liked her all that much in this competition.

8:33 p.m. It’s Anoop! And Alexis Grace! And Jason Mraz! And the rest of the Top 13 singing “I’m Yours.” I like this song.

8:36 p.m. It’s Kris Allen’s journey. I’d forgotten how completely humble he was at his audition. :)

8:38 p.m. Kris and Keith Urban are singing “Kiss a Girl.” Oh, he’s great! (Keith’s not bad either.) I remember when David Cook sang “Sharp Dressed Man” during last season’s finale. LOVED. IT. Kris reminds me a little of David: so professional, but with a healthy dose of “Oh my gosh. I’m singing with Keith Urban!”

8:45 p.m. The girls sing Fergie’s song, and then here’s Fergie! Again, I’m really old, because I don’t recognize the song. Until the chorus. Ed didn’t recognize Fergie’s name, though. So, clearly, I’m not as old as he is.

8:47 p.m. And now it’s the Black Eyed Peas and Fergie.

8:49 p.m. O.k., I’m ready for the contestants to sing again now. Or, we could just do the results? Please?

8:51 p.m. Here’s another Golden Idol, with the nominees for Best Attitude.

The winner is Bikini Girl! In her bikini. She gives Ryan, who “kissed back” this time when she kissed him. She’s reprising “Vision of Love,” the song she sang at the audition. At the audition, Kara DioGuardi “sang back” because she said Katrina didn’t have “the chops” to sing it. And now Kara’s singing. And she’s stealing the show. Ha! TOTALLY working the crowd. And holding that long note. :) And she’s in her own bikini. This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. And she’s mortified. And, apparently, her co-hosts bet she wouldn’t show herself in a bikini. They’re donating a lot of money because she did. WAY TO GO, Kara! I think she looks great. (I know lots of folks don’t like Kara, but I do.)

9:00 p.m. It’s Allison Iraheta and Cindi Lauper singing “Time After Time.” Alison really grew on me this season, and I really liked her from the start. She’s not the most charismatic contestant by FAR, but she’s wonderful. And I love this song. The end got a little weird, but I liked it anyway.

9:03 p.m. Now we’re visiting with Kris’s parents. They’re so proud. Dad should be a politician… he’s so, well, diplomatic.

9:04 p.m. And at the OTHER side of the theater (surely the producers didn’t think a fistfight would break out if they were seated together, did they?), are Adam’s parents. Also, so proud.

Both sets of parents were extremely gracious.

9:05 p.m. Danny Gokey! Singing “Hello.” I predict we’ll be seeing Lionel Ritchie soon.

9:06 p.m. It’s Lionel Ritchie. (I’m so smart.)

Dude, I’m not actually WATCHING this show, because I’m too busy typing. But I’m having fun. Yay!

After another commercial…

It’s 9:15 p.m. It’s Adam’s journey. He has kept his promise and “surprised people.” And how! I may have voted for Kris, but I really like, Adam, too. He’s just not my particular style of singer.

9:16 p.m. Ed wants to know what Adam is wearing. It’s a bit of a puzzler. The song is pretty, though. :) (No clue what the song is, however.) Seriously? He can SING. Can he sing ballads all the time? I would totally buy his records.

And now here comes KISS! Ed says this explains the outfit. I haven’t a clue what he means by that.

I think Adam sounds better than the lead KISS man. (Ed says this is Gene Simmons. I DO actually know the name. I just never remember he is KISS’s lead singer.) And, suddenly, we’re not hearing a ballad anymore.

9:20 p.m. And now guitars are being broken. Is biting the heads off rats next?

9:25 p.m. It’s Carlos Santana singing with Matt Girard. And the guys. And the girls, too. WHOO HOO! They’re singing the REALLY famous song he did a few years ago, but I cannot remember what it’s called for the life of me.

9:29 p.m. The final Ford music video. It’s a neat retrospective of the other videos with all the contestants. REALLY COOL!

9:30 p.m. David Cook is with Adam and Kris. He’s giving them each a 2010 Ford Fusion. Fun. And a little cheesy. But mainly fun.

9:31 p.m. Megan Joy, Michael Sarver, and Steve Martin. (STEVE MARTIN on the banjo!) I love Steve Martin. Steve says he knows it’s a long shot, but that he hopes he wins. :)

9:39 p.m. Is it wrong that I’m just ready for this to be OVER already? For now, though, we’re treated to the boys singing “Do You Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart. It’s cracking me up. (That sounded rude, and I totally didn’t mean it to.) That’s a VERY fancy suit Rod Stewart is wearing. I enjoy Rod Stewart.

9:44 p.m. The (hopefully last) Golden Idol, this one for Outstanding Female. OH, it’s Tatiania Del Toro! (I’ve been waiting all night for her to make her appearance.) I’ve often wondered what this season would have been like if they’d put her through to the finals. MUCH more drama, for sure. She won. SHOCKING! She’s TOO FUNNY (in very small doses)! She’s singing “Saving All My Love for You” for about the fourth time, even though Ryan says they must take a break. They’re chasing her around the stage. (I’m sure a bunch of this is put on, but one never can tell with Tataina. :) Oy.)

O.k., it’s 9:50 now. They’re in a commercial. Please? Results? I’m ready to go to bed.

9:52 p.m. “We Are the Champions”: I ADORE this song. Didn’t people want Adam to sing this all season (or am I getting my rock anthems confused)? This show really has been fun. If I were the contestants, I wouldn’t be able to sing right now. Good for them. :) QUEEN!

As far as I’m concerned, this is their coming out party. No matter who wins. This is COOL!

10:00 p.m. Final words from Simon: It’s really a complete love fest: “The future’s all yours.”

10:01 p.m. We have the envelope with the results.

I cannot stand it.

10:01 p.m. “Dim the lights. Here we go.”

10:01 p.m. “Kris ALLEN!”

HOW EXCITING! :)

10:02 p.m. Fireworks in Conway, Arkansas. How fun is this? :)

Kris can’t believe it. They can’t get him to NOT be humble.

10:04 p.m. Kris sings.

Kris’s wife is adorable.

And Adam is all smiles.

10:05 p.m. CUE the fancy falling pyrotechnics and confetti and the other finalists on stage with him. :)

10:06 p.m. His wife FINALLY gets to hug her husband. It looks like he may never let her go.

10:06 p.m. Show goes of the air until January when it starts all over again.

And tomorrow, I’ll have to actually WATCH this show. Just sayin’.

Good night!

(10:14 p.m. Blog published.)